Part 2: So Hard To Take The First Step

So, we made the audacious decision to retire 30 years ahead of everyone else. Great. However, there is still a considerable journey ahead of us before we step foot on that plane. As I write this post on July 15, 2023, from Völs, a suburb of Innsbruck, Austria, where we found our first home in this new chapter of our lives. It has been five days since we left Israel. It's 9:00 pm, and outside, the sun is just beginning to set. Sitting on the small front porch of Patrizia's cozy apartment, I gaze upon the breathtaking Alpine cliffs encircling Innsbruck. The weather is delightful, with dry air and a comfortable temperature. Following a day of errands and pool time, the children have finally fell asleep, allowing me to write beneath the slowly fading light.

The first days of departure and initial settling in are behind us, and today, as the children joyfully take another round of the water slide at the local pool, I finally find a moment to gaze at the sky and contemplate. The reality of our decision is starting to sink in. I reflect upon the journey we have undertaken in the past year leading up to our departure. On one hand, I am proud for our courage, while on the other hand, I am scared.

___________________

Rewind two years back.

When we made the decision, it became evident that there was one significant step we had to take for everything to become tangible and for the countdown to truly begin: booking our first one-way flight. Consider it for a moment — how many times in your life have you booked a one-way ticket? Personally, until we secured our tickets to Vienna, it had never occurred to me. Until that ticket is booked, the decision remains just that—a decision, and nothing more. But here's the catch: to book a flight, you must decide on a departure date, which is surprisingly challenging as reasons are always there to hold you back: a new job, a promotion, Gil is about to enter first grade, my parents are planning to move, what shall we do? Leave our parents? And what will people say? And what about our house? Sell? Rent?

All of these considerations are valid. There will always be something happening, but there's no choice. If we truly want to embark on this journey, we must decide on a date.

___________________

In September 2020, Liron gave birth to a third baby, but not for us. Liron underwent a surrogacy procedure and with great joy, amidst another lockdown due Covid, a healthy and adorable baby was born. Liron lovingly returned the baby to a wonderful couple who had eagerly awaited this moment.

Around this time, the idea of retirement began to take shape. As mentioned in the previous post (No. 1), Liron decided that one surrogacy experience was not enough. In Israel, a woman can undergo surrogacy twice in her life, as long as it occurs before the age of 38. And so Liron said: "I want to do my second time, and then we can embark on our travels."

Now, let's delve into our relationship a bit. I can confidently say that I am blessed with a partner who is nothing short of a dream come true. Liron has made, and I am certain will continue to make, everything I want to do or will want to do in the future possible. Declining an initiative is simply not an option for her. And as for me, I share the same mindset. If Liron desires anything, I would always push her to go ahead and do it. Over time, we have learned that no matter the challenge or how daunting it may seem, we will always find a way to make it happen.

In my opinion, our relationship is balanced. There are no hidden agendas or drama. We have open and honest communication about everything. We both have full and unrestricted access to each other's phones, we share a bank account, and if any difficulties arise, we don't hide them. By keeping everything out in the open, nothing festers or explodes. Instead of spending our money to celebrate formal dates or buying unnecessary gifts, we prefer to allocate our money towards creating meaningful experiences.

There was no way I would say no to Liron's decision. And truthfully, there was no reason to say no either. What harm would it do to wait another year so that Liron could bring genuine happiness to another couple who desperately desired a child but, for various reasons, couldn't have one?

And so, the original departure date we had envisioned was born. We calculated the time it would take to find a couple interested in a surrogate, factored in the duration of the process, and allowed for extra time to account for any potential setbacks. This led us to November 2022. The process began, and we connected with a lovely couple. Everything seemed perfect. However, due to reasons that I will not divulge to safeguard the couple's privacy, the process came to an abrupt halt even before Liron was scheduled to receive the embryo. It was a profoundly sad moment for us, leaving us feeling a deep sense of loss.

Life continued. It was the end of 2021, and the coronavirus was still wreaking havoc. With 100 thousand positive cases per day in France, we boarded a plane to Paris. It's almost Christmas and it's the most beautiful time of the year for a city trip and more than anything else, we had had enough of lockdowns and craved a vacation.

During that time, I had taken on a new team with two fresh employees, and Liron had completed a year in her new position. We found ourselves unusually busy, and for several months, daily routine overpowered us and we neglected to set aside time for a meaningful discussion about our departure date. Occasionally, in the evenings, we would throw a statement into the air: "Well, when are we leaving?!" But it remained more of a fleeting remark than a serious conversation. Time continued to pass, oblivious to our indecision.

I believe it was in the spring of 2022 when we finally made a concrete decision. Liron took all the relevant factors into account: the anticipated move of my parents in the spring of 2023, Amit's completion of second grade and the upcoming gifted-kids test, just to ensure he is indeed gifted, and both of us completing two years in our current positions at work. Our target departure date was set: July 2023. A little bit more than a year.

May it sound like a long time? Well, it wasn't. This year flew by in the blink of an eye. Just think about it — we had a specific date when our life, as we have known it until now, is about to come to an end, and a new chapter is about to commence.

But what about the plane tickets? After all, we had declared that until we had plane tickets in hand, it was all just talking. The main hurdle for us in booking those tickets was informing our workplaces of our departure. It may seem simple, right? Just give them a month's notice, and everything will be fine. Well, not exactly in our case. We weren't changing jobs; we were leaving for the sake of adventure. Given that we genuinely liked our jobs, it was crucial for us to ensure that all parties involved were content and that our managers had ample time to find suitable replacements. Hence, we decided to announce our departure towards the end of 2022, a period when work plans for the following year were being prepared. This would provide our managers with sufficient time to plan and give them a span of 6 months for preparation.

And so it was, towards the end of 2022, we officially notified our managers of our expected departure. They thought we were crazy, but supported our decision. That evening, I took the plunge and booked our flight tickets to Vienna, along with our first Airbnb reservation, from which I am writing now.